i hate to admit it, but despite my attempts to live in the moment, i have a tendency to think that the grass is greener on the other side. it's not so much the direction of my life that is bothersome {i adore being a wife and mom} but more the "season". i often think, "it will be so much nicer when...." fill in the blank.
sometimes it's superficial and i'm day dreaming about how grand my life will be when we live in a home with a playroom {among other things}, my closet is stuffed full of j. crew and hiring a babysitter is a weekly affair {not a, only if your life depends on it and there are no other options, sort of situation}. however, when i stop to think about it i'm not so sure bigger and better is really better. i mean, a bigger house just means bigger bills, and more cleaning right? i also have yet to find a woman that is always satisfied with her wardrobe. so why am i pining over these things?
other times it has to do with the stages we are in. for instance, while nursing my children i could hardly wait to be done so someone else could take a turn holding and feeding them. the problem is that those were the only months of their precious lives that i would have the opportunity to sit with them and just be, or rock, or sing, or pray, or ponder. not to mention that soon i would discover what i had forgotten after each child which is: a.) bottles are not easier, b.) formula is expensive and c.) i would end up feeding the baby most of the time anyway. oiy.
although we are done with nursing babies {at least for now} there have been and are other seasons that i am dyeing to get through. exhibit "A" {below} would be one of them...
meet espy {3} and his little, tilly {1.5}. espy is constantly needing interaction and he'll take it anyway he can get it... giggles or tears and it usually involves that ladder. however, when this stage is over there will be a lot of things that go with it...
like chubby feet....
and creative scribbles...
and in general, time together with children that are willing to cuddle.
i will undoubtedly miss this "grass". so, i've been spending a lot of time thinking about the grass on the other side; wondering if it really is greener and asking God how i might be able to change my perspective. i'm not so sure that i've found the answer {although i know he has one}, but i am trying to trust him more. trust that i am exactly where he wants me to be, doing what i've been called to do. that he will bring new adventures and changes when the time is right and that he only has good things in mind for me and my family.
"for i know that plans i have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.
jeremiah 29:11
being a mom is an awesome responsibility and incredible blessing. sometimes that slips my mind.... so maybe instead of praying for a bigger house, i should ask for some trips to the spa! i can't think of a downside to that! LOL.
anyway, not so sure if anyone else can identify, but hopefully it speaks to someone :).
have a beautiful weekend and mother's day!
xo . rae . vp + mom . ARMOMMY
beautiful words rae! happy mother's day to you, have a lovely weekend with your family.
ReplyDeleteyou are reading my mind.
ReplyDeleteI had a hard time with this exact thing awhile ago. I've since been blessed with the ability to realize that the key (for me) is to be content with the here and now. There's always better, and there's always worse. Learn to enjoy where you are, that's the secret!
ReplyDeleteI remember being right where you were in so many instances, especially during nursing! I too had the same revelation and now I try to memorize all the little things that take place, even the totally ordinary moments with my little one. Being a mom truly is a blessing. I find that whenever I start to stray with my own thoughts of greener pastures, I remind myself to slow down and take in the beauty of the family that God has given me. Slowing down enough to soak it all in is often the hardest part for us busy moms! Thank you for showing me that I'm not alone in these thoughts! Your prayers will be answered :)
ReplyDeleterae, i love your blog!! very, very cool. your kiddos are way too sweet!
ReplyDeleteJust stumbled upon your blog and oh how this spoke to me. I feel I have always been looking for the 'next thing' as it will be better, easier, more enjoyable or more significant. I too am praying that I will be content with where I am and realise that 'this is the day that the Lord has made'.
ReplyDeleteThank you for your honesty!x