02 January 2010


i have been busy at work in many areas of business and family and my mind is racing with things i could write about.  i’ve been contemplating what to focus on and think that as we head into 2010 passion and adventure will be a big focus of mine; being the second day of the new year, i feel an appropriate topic.  but to begin and without further adieu, some of my biggest struggles and questions from the previous year have been….

how can i be sure to put my ALL into something [or many something's: husband, children, ministry, business, friends] and fit it all in; including the ‘small’ stuff?  or, for that matter, is it truly possible to not sweat the small stuff?  if i focus on the big stuff, will the small things fall into place?  even though i have gotten really good at saying “no” over the years and trimming down my commitments, i find that i still don’t have the time to do and be everything my heart desires.  however, i am absolutely convinced that this is not how life should be.  so this year, 2010, i am trusting that if i am focused every day on God’s heart for me and my family, i will be living my best life possible.  understandably i am egger to see how things turn out.

the end of 2009 brought about so many exciting events.  we have two weddings of our treasured friends to look forward to [words cannot express how much i love the people involved] and my husband and i had a  H U G E  victory in our personal life.  nothing that had to do with our marriage, but that greatly affected our family.  until the moment that we heard the good news i don’t think i was completely aware of the toll this always looming, randomly active situation was taking on me.  while i could live by faith knowing that God’s glory would be the ultimate outcome, nothing could replace the relief that came this past month…  in that moment and after 10 years of fighting, my life simply became more about living and less about surviving.  it was a labor of love, passion and sacrifice and i cry every time i think about it.

rae and yoder wedding

[our wedding day 2005]

today i was doing what and being who i want to be in the coming year.  our afternoon was spent sledding with our friends and their children for a total of 3 couples and 10 children.  getting all the kid-os in their snow gear is an adventure in and of itself, but add to it that one of the adults is 8 months pregnant, 8 of the children were 6 and under, and getting to the sledding hill included hiking down a steep “cliff”, crossing a “river” and then trekking up another steep hill and i began to feel like lewis and clark.  we were in fact, totally out of our minds but still had the gumption afterwards to fire up the camping stove, make gourmet hot chocolate [candy canes, egg nog, cocoa, milk and whip cream] in our soaking clothes, with our exhausted children and spend a good hour or so simply enjoying each other's company as the snow fell.  i loved every moment of it. 

this evening as my husband offered his help to get the kitchen and family room clean i turned on a song that had recently moved me to tears [all i need by mat kearney] and asked him to stop and slow dance with me.  [the song is about a real life experience of a young married couple during the katrina flooding.]  luckily he agreed without hesitation.  as we danced and listened to the words i wondered, what is it about tragedy and adventure that breeds romance and overwhelming love?  not hard to answer but a worthwhile question. 

sometimes, while faced with chaos and stress i am the best version of myself.  i love good because i know in those moments what matters most.  other times i am the worst version of myself  because i forget what is most important.  i will never be a perfect person, but i always want to be better and this is where my heart and thoughts are headed into twenty-ten; with my eyes and ears turned to my Wonderful, Counselor, Prince of Peace, Everlasting God and Savior, a devotion instead of a resolution.

wishing you more then you dream of in 2010.

[you can hear the mat kearney song on you tube at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B0HqdJfQceo

rae :: vp + mom :: ARMOMMY  


  1. you are so wise. I love it ... a devotion instead of a resolution. How to be the best version of ourselves with all the little things that distract {however necessary and worthwhile they may be} ... My goal this year is to find more balance {which is, I think, what you are saying} and maybe it is not about "finding balance" but just trusting that as I devote my life & daily goals/issues to the Lord, He'll truly make my paths straight. You are wonderful and so inspiring {and I love the part about sledding - it was perfect, wasn't it}.

  2. This is a beautiful post Rae! What an awesome glimpse into your heart. Thanks for sharing! P.s. We've never had to cross a river when we go to that sledding spot...I'm not sure where you ended up!

  3. you guys are so sweet seeing as how i have a horrible time getting all my thoughts to tie together!

    you got it em, i have realized that God can do more with my time and efforts when i'm devoted to him then i can do when i try to balance things. sometimes he may be asking us to be more balanced, other times more focused and so on. you were a serious trooper today in the wilderness. i'm sure you are exhausted, but hope it was just what you needed.

    kc, we actually discussed the fact that the spot we picked was probably not where you guys had gone. it was a fun little adventure, but i don't know that we would make plans to go back to the same spot. i'm pretty sure we looked quite rediculous and wish i had more pictures of the entire phiasco.